Wrestling Parents or the DWP

[kdsmith27 14]

Wrestling Parents or the DWP

Being a wrestling coach is not always easy...especially

when you run into "difficult wrestling parents" or DWP's as I

like to call them.

You know the parents I'm referring to: overbearing, overly competitive, and

overly engaged in your decisions as a coach.

I've actually had a fair amount of experience with this...

No matter how knowledgeable, fair, or kind you are to your team, you can

probably expect an irate parent or two to crop up during the season.  Here are a

few tips I find helpful when dealing with these situations.

1. Don't discuss the issue at the match

The first thing the coach should avoid is discussing the problem with the parent

on the mat, especially if he/she is visibly upset.

 

2. Schedule a separate time/venue to have the discussion

Rather than discuss the problem then and there, the coach should agree to meet

or telephone the parent at a mutually convenient time to discuss the complaint.

By doing this, you avoid giving the parent an audience, allow the him/her to

'cool off', and give yourself time to prepare an appropriate response to the

complaint.

3. Be an active listener

When you eventually talk to the parent, one of the most important things you can do is be an active listener.  Doing things like taking notes, maintaining eye

contact and nodding to acknowledge you have heard what the parent is saying are crucial.

4. Don't interrupt

Even if parents raise their voices or their stories have are not fact-based, the

coach should avoid interrupting. By interrupting a parent, you risk inflaming

the situation.

5. Don't get defensive

The coach should avoid defending or justifying their action. Such behavior at

this point will only make the situation worse.

6. Show empathy

Respond to their concerns with statements like "I'm sorry that you feel your

child has been treated unfairly". This will help the parent to understand

his/her problem is being taken seriously. They are likely to be calmer and more

willing to find a solution.

7. Clarify the problem

This can be achieved by asking probing questions. This helps both parties to

focus on the problem (not personalities), stick to the facts, and avoid being

caught up in extraneous issues.

8. Offer a range of solutions

A lot of times, parents just want their feelings to be heard and understood. If

they want more, try to offer a range of solutions. This demonstrates a

willingness to work together to solve the problem. It's important to avoid

making promises that you can't keep. Explain to them what you can and cannot do.

 

9. Get closure

Ideally, you will given the parent a number of options and agreed on a mutual

course of action. At this point it's appropriate to end the meeting. It should

conclude with three things:

* Leave the parent with a closing action statement (e.g.. 'I'll get on to that

now').

* Thank the parent for their interest (no matter how unpleasant the meeting).

* If follow-up is required, tell them when you will contact them ('I'll ring you

tomorrow').

This will leave the parent feeling as though their complaint has been heard, and

the parent-coach relationship will be strengthened.

10. Leave the door open

There will be cases, however after this whole process where you will not be able

to give the parent the response they are looking for. It is important in these

circumstances that the coach leave the door open for the parent, e.g.. 'If there

is ever anything else, please come to me'.  By doing this the parent will at

least feel that his/her complaint has been taken seriously, and the coach-parent

relationship, however strained, will remain intact. Not doing this could allow

the problem to fester... and the parent could damage your reputation through

word-of-mouth.