SeanR

Is it possible to get son son to focus on wrestling?

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Greetings, and thank you in advance for your gracious answer. My son is a young high school sophomore wrestler (birthday at end of summer). He is a naturally gifted wrestler, however he has less than 3 years of wrestling experience and only 1 year of competative experience. He did well his freshman year wrestling JV going 19 and 5. However he is now Varsity, and not doing well. I do not focus upon wins and losses, but upon technique, execution, and scoring points. I help coach his teammates and the ones I coach are all doing very well. My son is weaker than the older kids he wrestles yet relies too much upon strength. According to his coaches (and me) the solution to his problem is he needs more mat time. We are all sure that if he wrestled more he would become an extraordinary wrestler. I have never pushed him hard in wrestling until now, but feel that now is the time for him to get serious.

The problem is football. He spends 5 months a year playing and is OK (he is a big kid, wrestles at 190 lbs) but does not have a lot of potential at football (runs a 4.9 40). Like I said, he has great potential (excellent hips) at wrestling and would be a world beater if he wrestled year around. 

Last night, after 2 tough losses (he only had 7 practices because of football season) I told him that I loved him, supported him....but that he needed to focus on wrestling year around if he wanted to realize his potential. 3 other coaches agreed with me, but is it possible for me to convince my son? As things are right now, he is going to be a mediocre football player and wrestler, whereas if he focused on wrestling year around (I also am a strength and conditioning coach, so he is covered there) he would be great. I would arrange my work schedule so that I could personally drive him to the wrestling club 2-3 days a week (his off season schedule, I don't want to burn him out) and weight train him myself.

On the other hand, is it impossible for a father to do this sort of ting with his son, so I just need to let him fail? My son really likes and enjoys wrestling, but also likes football (even though he does not start). 

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20 minutes ago, SeanR said:

Greetings, and thank you in advance for your gracious answer. My son is a young high school sophomore wrestler (birthday at end of summer). He is a naturally gifted wrestler, however he has less than 3 years of wrestling experience and only 1 year of competative experience. He did well his freshman year wrestling JV going 19 and 5. However he is now Varsity, and not doing well. I do not focus upon wins and losses, but upon technique, execution, and scoring points. I help coach his teammates and the ones I coach are all doing very well. My son is weaker than the older kids he wrestles yet relies too much upon strength. According to his coaches (and me) the solution to his problem is he needs more mat time. We are all sure that if he wrestled more he would become an extraordinary wrestler. I have never pushed him hard in wrestling until now, but feel that now is the time for him to get serious.

The problem is football. He spends 5 months a year playing and is OK (he is a big kid, wrestles at 190 lbs) but does not have a lot of potential at football (runs a 4.9 40). Like I said, he has great potential (excellent hips) at wrestling and would be a world beater if he wrestled year around. 

Last night, after 2 tough losses (he only had 7 practices because of football season) I told him that I loved him, supported him....but that he needed to focus on wrestling year around if he wanted to realize his potential. 3 other coaches agreed with me, but is it possible for me to convince my son? As things are right now, he is going to be a mediocre football player and wrestler, whereas if he focused on wrestling year around (I also am a strength and conditioning coach, so he is covered there) he would be great. I would arrange my work schedule so that I could personally drive him to the wrestling club 2-3 days a week (his off season schedule, I don't want to burn him out) and weight train him myself.

On the other hand, is it impossible for a father to do this sort of ting with his son, so I just need to let him fail? My son really likes and enjoys wrestling, but also likes football (even though he does not start). 

I'd let the kid play whatever sports he wanted at whatever level he is comfortable with. I would never encourage a kid to specialize or not play another sport. You've only got one opportunity to play high school sports. I've been down this road, and there is no better way to burn a kid out or damage your relationship than by making him quit something he likes to do and force him to specialize. If he makes that choice on his own, great---but I wouldn't push it. You could also maybe even make the argument he could be great at football if he specialized and trained year round (I could do a lot of damage on the football field with a bunch of 190lb kids who could run sub 5.0 40's and I'd say he's got pretty good potential at football too). The bottom line is our goals may not, and likely won't always align with our children's goals. And that being said what is his ultimate goal? And you have to keep in mind that very few go on to play either sport at the next level, and fewer actually get scholarships. 

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Thank you....I will consider your response. His ultimate goal is to go out of state to a University. His grades are decent but that will not happen without a scholarship. He is talented enough in wrestling that he would get a D 2-3 if he wrestled year around, but you are correct, there is no way I can convince him of that. Based upon your response I just need to accept that he will live at home and go to Junior College and then the local university. The main problem is he entered high school without enough wrestling, he was already behind.

I am in Texas, BTW. He club wrestled from age 7-9 twice a week....I purposely kept him from competition. I assumed that he would wrestle in Junior High, but when he got there were was no wrestling and no club w/in driving distance (Texas hates wrestling). Had he wrestled in Junior High he would have enough mat time to not need to play catch up at this point.

But you are correct. From a psychological standpoint there is nothing I can do, even though I have access to some of the best wrestling coaches in the state (I am preparing a phenomenal former D 1 wrestler to get a pro card in bodybuilding...he will trade me private lessons, plus other great coaches). I am just making a rational decision. I prepare bodybuilders and combat athletes (many BJJ and MMA athletes) so I am good at recognizing potential. But I work mostly with adults, not kids, except for those I coach at the wrestling club I helped found. They are all 100% committed and are the best wrestlers on the team.

But as you mention....kids must do what THEY want to do. It is impossible for me to teach pure rationality, he just do what he wants. I cannot push it. 

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Update: So I took your advice and pretty much decided to not bring up the topic again....however  my son came up to me and said that football practice was not that hard/demanding on the body and he felt that he could wrestle one day a week (Sunday) at the club during football season.

Interesting. This might work. What I will do is have him warm up, work technique, live wrestle, and then skip the conditioning at the last part of practice.  

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22 hours ago, rjs4470 said:

I'd let the kid play whatever sports he wanted at whatever level he is comfortable with. I would never encourage a kid to specialize or not play another sport. You've only got one opportunity to play high school sports. I've been down this road, and there is no better way to burn a kid out or damage your relationship than by making him quit something he likes to do and force him to specialize. If he makes that choice on his own, great---but I wouldn't push it. You could also maybe even make the argument he could be great at football if he specialized and trained year round (I could do a lot of damage on the football field with a bunch of 190lb kids who could run sub 5.0 40's and I'd say he's got pretty good potential at football too). The bottom line is our goals may not, and likely won't always align with our children's goals. And that being said what is his ultimate goal? And you have to keep in mind that very few go on to play either sport at the next level, and fewer actually get scholarships. 

This is good advice and I did the same with my son. He was a 3 sport kid through his freshman year but wrestling was always where he should be. I just told him to look around at the other kids playing football, find one who is same as you think you will be your senior year. If that kid is playing all the time and living what you think will make you happy then great I support whatever you think but if not then you might want to consider looking at everything differently. My son stopped playing football after that year and just played baseball for fun not for school. He was a happier kid and still trained all the time but it was his choice. 

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1 hour ago, panthers said:

This is good advice and I did the same with my son. He was a 3 sport kid through his freshman year but wrestling was always where he should be. I just told him to look around at the other kids playing football, find one who is same as you think you will be your senior year. If that kid is playing all the time and living what you think will make you happy then great I support whatever you think but if not then you might want to consider looking at everything differently. My son stopped playing football after that year and just played baseball for fun not for school. He was a happier kid and still trained all the time but it was his choice. 

Yes...my son is at a huge 6A Texas High School and as he advances plays less and less. He went from playing both defense and offense in 8th grade to just defense as a freshman on Freshman A (they have A and B here in football crazy Texas). He was an outside linebacker, but was not able to direct the defense so they moved him to fullback. He just is not playing with any fire anymore, he used to be so intense. Now he is not even starting at Fullback. That is why I just don't see any future for him in football, it is more a social thing and being cool. Next year he will be a Junior and will most likely make Varsity (he always does well in camp) but I doubt he will get a lot playing time. 

Now in wrestling, I am finally getting him to fall in love with the technical "art" side of the sport which of course will greatly improve his performance. He has 3 other kids at his weight but beats them all in practice so he has his varsity position locked up. He will likely be 215 next year and I don't see anyone beating him (as mentioned I helped found the club which feeds our high school...I know pretty much everyone coming in). If my son wrestled more he would be a winning junior next year, no doubt. He is now listening to me and trying lots of new stuff in practice and developing at a rapid rate. He lost his first 2 varsity matches, but will be winning by the end of the year. I am good at predicting future success and he is at a place where he is going to improve rapidly. Last night I approached him and did not mention a word about wrestling, but he brought it up and we talked about him watching videos and really getting into the sport 100%. We also had a talk about diet and training (my specialty area, I do it professionally).

However, when wrestling ends, we are focusing 100% on strength/weight training for 8 weeks. He needs more upper body strength Then we will start wrestling 3 days a week in mid April, doing a maintenance weight program twice a week. That only gives him 3 months of off season wrestling, as football camp here in Texas starts in July. Football eats up 4 months. He only has 7 wrestling practices after football ends before his first match.   

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Hello Sean.  I don’t post on here much but I have been around the wrestling world for a while. The best advice I can give you is let your son do what makes him happy first.  My son was kind of in a similar situation when he was younger.  He is a senior this year and has a early summer birthday.  He started wrestling in middle school and had talent but hadn’t wrestled much and he was little but strong.  He played football since he was little too.  It’s great conditioning to play different sports so the kids don’t get burned out on one sport.  Eventually he did decide he wanted to focus on wrestling but it was when he really started winning and knew he had potential ( I think it was his sophomore year).  His dad and I would have him go to different wrestling camps when time allowed and we found a great non school wrestling team in the off season.  With you living in TX I understand it’s hard because your in a big football state but off season club might help.  As a standpoint of a mother make sure you support him and be there for him.  When he wins celebrate with him and when he looses hug him and tell him it’s alright because if he learned one thing from the match he really won because now he has that experience.  Get him in the mindset that even a negative experience can be turned into a positive if he learned something.  When he gets a little older it will click.  I hope this helped.  Best of luck.

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Thanks abs, great advice that I am following. He got pinned in his first two varsity matches and is facing an extremely tough tournament next week that will probably involve more losses. I support him 100% after his losses and focus upon the thing he did right, not he loss.

Having said that, he is improving greatly. We have a stud at 165 (undefeated) and Matt (my son) is starting to beat him consistently in practice so he is improving rapidly. However he wrestles at 190. I have him on a high protein moderate carb diet and he is losing baby fat rapidly....but his weight is not dropping much, so it look like he will be at 190 this season.

But like I said, he is improving rapidly. If he can mentally handle the losses (and like I said...I tell him I love him, support him, and am proud of him after these losses) he should be winning half his matches by the end of the season. He is working very hard in practice and finally is watching video of wresting techniques. Texas wrestling is generally weak....but the schools are huge (my son competes in 6a) meaning he schools have more than 3k students. That means even though wrestling is weak, you are going to get at least one stud in every weight class.

What do you think of sending him to a wrestling camp the summer, like Purler?. 

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There are always lots of great camps across the nation. Different people will tell you different ones are the best. Truth they are all great for different reasons. Purler has many good camps all year and I have kids that have attended. Jeff Jordan another great place to go. These are big week long camps that cost a bunch. There are also weekend clinics you can go to at a lot of colleges usually and some could be local. I take my kids every year to Union Co Camp its a 4 day camp either the second or third week of June. To me its the best camp for the money nation wide. There is always plenty of colleges there to teach kids and former NCAA and NIAI National Qualifiers and Champions every year. I have seen I-Mar there when my kid was in school and was back this past year. I have seen Penn St Lee there as well as many others. It only cost $175 that pays for training lunch and dinner as well as a place to stay if you let them know you are out of state or need help with that. There is about 200 kids from as many as 11 states there every year. Some are great some not some nationally ranked some not so there is someone for everyone. We also go to the small NIAI weekend camps which usually cost between $50-$75 all over our state at high schools or the colleges. 

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Thanks everyone,

We are in Texas, so something closer would be John Smith's camp in Oklahoma. It is June 19th -23rd. http://www.osuwrestlingcamps.com/Technique_Camp.htm 

Since it is deep off season I believe a technique camp will be more beneficial than an intensive camp. IMO, the off season should be more focused on technique than conditioning, although we will be doing plenty of strength training. 

Any tips on any camps close to Texas will be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

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Update: Matt is is 5 and 5 wrestling varsity as a sophomore. However his last few matches were against football powerhouses that were weak wrestling programs. He was wrestling up at the 190 class (now given 2 extra lbs so its 192) although he is down to 181 lbs due to his diet (which is perfect...I do diets as part of my job for a living). He was helping out the team but I want him wrestling at 177 lbs. He will be walking around at 178-179 by next week, so 177 is easy.

I started a wrestling club at the MMA school where I used to teach BJJ and and (my son) did TKD there 10 years ago. He has also boxed and done BJJ since it was impossible to find a wrestling club close by. So how he has a place to train off season. The owner of the school is also a big fight promoter, who is familiar with Matts striking skills (he has excellent natural boxing). If you are familiar with MMA training, the catch is that great grapplers don't always make great strikers, and vice versa. Matt is good at both, so although my son is only 15 the fight promoter has offered him free training and free room and board in Austin (we live near Houston). Basically he has a full MMA scholarship. But I want him focusing on wrestling and going to college (especially since he has only been wrestling for a little over 3 years). Having said that, MMA is something for him to fall back on. Wrestlers dominate MMA (half the top guys in the UFC started as wrestlers). Every legitimate MMA school has a wrestling coach, so his background would open a career in coaching. A wrestler who also has striking training is what schools are looking for. He could coach as a way for paying for college.

Of course I want him doing what he wants to do, but there are absolutely no opportunities for him in football, and many, many in martial arts. Yes there are kids that play both football and wrestle in high school sometimes make it in college...but these are kids that had 4-5 years of wrestling under their belt BEFORE high school. Had Matt wrestled in Junior High school he would have been better prepared, but God bless Texas his junior high school did not have wrestling. 

So clearly focusing wrestling is going to be far, far better for his future...but as has been said, kids have to make their own decisions, no matter how dumb. 

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14 hours ago, SeanR said:

Update: Matt is is 5 and 5 wrestling varsity as a sophomore. However his last few matches were against football powerhouses that were weak wrestling programs. He was wrestling up at the 190 class (now given 2 extra lbs so its 192) although he is down to 181 lbs due to his diet (which is perfect...I do diets as part of my job for a living). He was helping out the team but I want him wrestling at 177 lbs. He will be walking around at 178-179 by next week, so 177 is easy.

I started a wrestling club at the MMA school where I used to teach BJJ and and (my son) did TKD there 10 years ago. He has also boxed and done BJJ since it was impossible to find a wrestling club close by. So how he has a place to train off season. The owner of the school is also a big fight promoter, who is familiar with Matts striking skills (he has excellent natural boxing). If you are familiar with MMA training, the catch is that great grapplers don't always make great strikers, and vice versa. Matt is good at both, so although my son is only 15 the fight promoter has offered him free training and free room and board in Austin (we live near Houston). Basically he has a full MMA scholarship. But I want him focusing on wrestling and going to college (especially since he has only been wrestling for a little over 3 years). Having said that, MMA is something for him to fall back on. Wrestlers dominate MMA (half the top guys in the UFC started as wrestlers). Every legitimate MMA school has a wrestling coach, so his background would open a career in coaching. A wrestler who also has striking training is what schools are looking for. He could coach as a way for paying for college.

Of course I want him doing what he wants to do, but there are absolutely no opportunities for him in football, and many, many in martial arts. Yes there are kids that play both football and wrestle in high school sometimes make it in college...but these are kids that had 4-5 years of wrestling under their belt BEFORE high school. Had Matt wrestled in Junior High school he would have been better prepared, but God bless Texas his junior high school did not have wrestling. 

So clearly focusing wrestling is going to be far, far better for his future...but as has been said, kids have to make their own decisions, no matter how dumb. 

You've talked a lot about his athletic future, but as I'm sure you know, his academic and career future is WAY more important, and his career will most likely not be related to wrestling, MMA or any other sport. I can understand the desire to see him succeed athletically, but from all your descriptions it seems like he is an average wrestler. It's really tough to bridge that gap from average to elite/the level where future opportunities will become accessible at this point in his wrestling career. I don't mean this to sound critical, but everything you've spoke about sounds like your dreams for him and his future as opposed to what he really wants to do. He's got to decide what he wants to do on his own, and for 95% of the world, a full time career competing in and coaching sports is just not a reasonable expectation. Even many of those that do move on to the next level, a good portion of those are done after a year or two. And careers beyond college in wrestling are extremely limited. Not saying it isn't ok to dream a little, despite your good intentions, it feels like he is being pushed along a path that will likely end in failure. It's perfectly ok to be an average athlete, have fun while doing it, and to get on with your life when your high school career is over.

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29 minutes ago, rjs4470 said:

You've talked a lot about his athletic future, but as I'm sure you know, his academic and career future is WAY more important, and his career will most likely not be related to wrestling, MMA or any other sport. I can understand the desire to see him succeed athletically, but from all your descriptions it seems like he is an average wrestler. It's really tough to bridge that gap from average to elite/the level where future opportunities will become accessible at this point in his wrestling career. I don't mean this to sound critical, but everything you've spoke about sounds like your dreams for him and his future as opposed to what he really wants to do. He's got to decide what he wants to do on his own, and for 95% of the world, a full time career competing in and coaching sports is just not a reasonable expectation. Even many of those that do move on to the next level, a good portion of those are done after a year or two. And careers beyond college in wrestling are extremely limited. Not saying it isn't ok to dream a little, despite your good intentions, it feels like he is being pushed along a path that will likely end in failure. It's perfectly ok to be an average athlete, have fun while doing it, and to get on with your life when your high school career is over.

I genuinely assumed this thread was satire. 

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18 minutes ago, rjs4470 said:

You've talked a lot about his athletic future, but as I'm sure you know, his academic and career future is WAY more important, and his career will most likely not be related to wrestling, MMA or any other sport. I can understand the desire to see him succeed athletically, but from all your descriptions it seems like he is an average wrestler. It's really tough to bridge that gap from average to elite/the level where future opportunities will become accessible at this point in his wrestling career. I don't mean this to sound critical, but everything you've spoke about sounds like your dreams for him and his future as opposed to what he really wants to do. He's got to decide what he wants to do on his own, and for 95% of the world, a full time career competing in and coaching sports is just not a reasonable expectation. Even many of those that do move on to the next level, a good portion of those are done after a year or two. And careers beyond college in wrestling are extremely limited. Not saying it isn't ok to dream a little, despite your good intentions, it feels like he is being pushed along a path that will likely end in failure. It's perfectly ok to be an average athlete, have fun while doing it, and to get on with your life when your high school career is over.

Sure..that is reasonable. He actually would have a future in MMA. Like I said his boxing is excellent )his distancing is superb) and it is exceptional for a grappler to be able to strike and vice versa. His striking caches all say he is exceptional. I prep fighters and he is way more well rounded than most. Do understand that is is rare for a 15 year old to be offered a full scholarship in MMA that includes room and board.. But honestly, I would much prefer is focus on college. Also, keep in ind he is a 500 varsity wrestler as a sophomore without a lot of wrestling (3 years...only 1 year competing) so I think his potential in wrestling is better than average. The kids at 192  that he has been wrestling are older and bigger than him, and he is 181 so will make 177 easily. If he had the 8 years of experience that most other top wrestlers have he would easily be a state placer. He just needs more mat and competition time. He has only had 34 matches in his entire life. Right now he gets intimidates wrestling older kids (and makes mistakes) and htat will take care of itself as he gets more matches and mat time.


But you are absolutely correct. None of this matters if he himself is not absolutely committed. I can lay things out but the decision is his 100%. I view this year as a developmental year. I don't focus on winning or losing whatsoever, I support him100%, especially in his losses. I focus on him trusting is wrestling, not a=making mistakes, setting up shots, keeping his head off the mat on bottom and using his stand up which is very good. At home I talk about diet and recovery, but not wresting specifically.   

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3 minutes ago, Old wrestler said:

I genuinely assumed this thread was satire. 

I prep MMA fighters. The number 1 fight promoter in the state of Texas has offered him full ride. Do you know anything about Muay Thai, boxing and BJJ? Do you know that it is rare for athletes to be good at all of these? Many great wrestlers can't strike. My son has been offered a full ride (room board, training etc.) in MMA. He has only wrestled 3 years so hs much room to grow.

I think your should educate yourself before posting.

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32 minutes ago, SeanR said:

I prep MMA fighters. The number 1 fight promoter in the state of Texas has offered him full ride. Do you know anything about Muay Thai, boxing and BJJ? Do you know that it is rare for athletes to be good at all of these? Many great wrestlers can't strike. My son has been offered a full ride (room board, training etc.) in MMA. He has only wrestled 3 years so hs much room to grow.

I think your should educate yourself before posting.

I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. It’s perfectly normal to have a dad on here from a different state giving unrequested updates on your sons 5-5 record. Satire was wishful thinking… In terms of education, I don’t feel the need to beat my chest on what I accomplished in wrestling/MMA because no one cares. However, in terms of educating one’s self, I would say based on your thread, you have a LOT to learn about wrestling and life.  Good luck to your son on his season, but maybe let him make some decisions about his life? 

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2 hours ago, Old wrestler said:

I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. It’s perfectly normal to have a dad on here from a different state giving unrequested updates on your sons 5-5 record. Satire was wishful thinking… In terms of education, I don’t feel the need to beat my chest on what I accomplished in wrestling/MMA because no one cares. However, in terms of educating one’s self, I would say based on your thread, you have a LOT to learn about wrestling and life.  Good luck to your son on his season, but maybe let him make some decisions about his life? 

You did not hurt my feelings, I just think you post demonstrated a lack of understanding of his opportunities. May I ask you MMA background? What is your training outside of wrestling?

The whole time I have been very clear that the decision was his. My job is to support and love him regardless of his athletic decisions. Having said that, I do not believe you understand/have been paying attention my posts.  Back to my son, he is behind where most other successful varsity wrestlers are in terms of experience. He wrestled twice a week from ages 7 to 9 with no tournament experience. I did not want him competing until 7th grade. At that point he started boxing and excelled. He started TKD at 5 and excelled. All his striking instructors pushed him to compete due to his natural talent, but I did not want him competing at such a young age. However, when we got to 7th grade there was no wrestling at his school so he played football. As he progressed in football he did OK, but as a sophomore on JV he got less and less playing time. Next year he will be varsity but probably spend a lot of time on the bench. I just don't think that is going to be a good experience for him.  

On the other hand he made Varsity as a sophomore in wrestling. Yes he is only 5 and 5, but he does not have nearly as much background as most other varsity wrestlers, a grand total off 34 matches in his life, and he has been wrestling much bigger and older kids. He is doing this with only 3 years of very part time wresting, if he wrestled year around he will be a hammer by his senior year. Will he ever be a D 1 prospect, I highly doubt it but he could get a partial D2 ride. All the kids I know getting rides started wrestling at 6-7 and wrestled full time once they got past their freshman/sophomore year in high school. He is not going to be average if he commits himself. Yes, I know the operative word is commits HIMSELF. All I can do is love and support him....but I think that goes a loooong way.

Now that MMA ride offer is HUGE. I don't think you understand this. Just teaching MMA pays very well. I know because I have prepped many fighters. In the MMA world people usually come in having excelled at only one sport. The ones that are successful are well rounded. If you are well rounded you can excel even if you were only a good high school wrestler who was never good enough for a D 1 ride. Look at the number 1 ranked guy in the World, Volkanovski....a decent youth wrestler who is well rounded. Of course I don't expect...or even want my son dreaming of he UFC, but there are good money making opportunities. You are not going ro make much money teaching wrestling, only the very, very best do. However You could have a 2 and 1 MMA career, not even fight a top fighter,  then make excellent money teaching MMA because people will pay for that. most the guys I know make $50-100 and hour. One guy I preped makes 100k a year teaching and he only had 1 professional fight. He was originally a decent, not great high school wrestler and a terrible striker (he is a legit BJJ black belt). BJJ is not as tough as wrestling so if you were a mediocre high school wrestler and can adapt your flow you can get a BJJ black belt. Teaching BJJ pays $90 an hour. I make a living because I am well rounded.

The guy who made the offer owns Black Sheep Boxing and is becoming one of the biggest promoters in Texas. He was my son's original TKD coach (10 years ago) and is aggressively pursuing him. He has made the offer of free room and board and training 3 times. That, IMO, is pretty huge. I said no, but another way my son can move towards that goal is to stay here and focus on his wrestling. I will work with him some on his striking nd a bit on his BJJ in the offseason but the focus will be on wrestling. He can then pick up his MMA training after the end of his senior season.

Now the goal here is, not to have a career as a pro fighter, but to have an excellent way of earning income while he goes to college. On this path, by the age of 19 he would have the ability to make $50 an hour teaching MMA, or wrestling for MMA. He could do some part time while attending college. He is also interested in Attending University of Texas, in Austin, the same place as Black Sheep Boxing. That would give him free room and board while attending college. That is not far off from a D1 ride (and UT is an excellent school).

Of course, once again, the decision is my sons. As long as he maintains excellent grades he can do what he wants. So, I presented the idea to him and he is thrilled.   

 

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5 hours ago, SeanR said:

You did not hurt my feelings, I just think you post demonstrated a lack of understanding of his opportunities. May I ask you MMA background? What is your training outside of wrestling?

The whole time I have been very clear that the decision was his. My job is to support and love him regardless of his athletic decisions. Having said that, I do not believe you understand/have been paying attention my posts.  Back to my son, he is behind where most other successful varsity wrestlers are in terms of experience. He wrestled twice a week from ages 7 to 9 with no tournament experience. I did not want him competing until 7th grade. At that point he started boxing and excelled. He started TKD at 5 and excelled. All his striking instructors pushed him to compete due to his natural talent, but I did not want him competing at such a young age. However, when we got to 7th grade there was no wrestling at his school so he played football. As he progressed in football he did OK, but as a sophomore on JV he got less and less playing time. Next year he will be varsity but probably spend a lot of time on the bench. I just don't think that is going to be a good experience for him.  

On the other hand he made Varsity as a sophomore in wrestling. Yes he is only 5 and 5, but he does not have nearly as much background as most other varsity wrestlers, a grand total off 34 matches in his life, and he has been wrestling much bigger and older kids. He is doing this with only 3 years of very part time wresting, if he wrestled year around he will be a hammer by his senior year. Will he ever be a D 1 prospect, I highly doubt it but he could get a partial D2 ride. All the kids I know getting rides started wrestling at 6-7 and wrestled full time once they got past their freshman/sophomore year in high school. He is not going to be average if he commits himself. Yes, I know the operative word is commits HIMSELF. All I can do is love and support him....but I think that goes a loooong way.

Now that MMA ride offer is HUGE. I don't think you understand this. Just teaching MMA pays very well. I know because I have prepped many fighters. In the MMA world people usually come in having excelled at only one sport. The ones that are successful are well rounded. If you are well rounded you can excel even if you were only a good high school wrestler who was never good enough for a D 1 ride. Look at the number 1 ranked guy in the World, Volkanovski....a decent youth wrestler who is well rounded. Of course I don't expect...or even want my son dreaming of he UFC, but there are good money making opportunities. You are not going ro make much money teaching wrestling, only the very, very best do. However You could have a 2 and 1 MMA career, not even fight a top fighter,  then make excellent money teaching MMA because people will pay for that. most the guys I know make $50-100 and hour. One guy I preped makes 100k a year teaching and he only had 1 professional fight. He was originally a decent, not great high school wrestler and a terrible striker (he is a legit BJJ black belt). BJJ is not as tough as wrestling so if you were a mediocre high school wrestler and can adapt your flow you can get a BJJ black belt. Teaching BJJ pays $90 an hour. I make a living because I am well rounded.

The guy who made the offer owns Black Sheep Boxing and is becoming one of the biggest promoters in Texas. He was my son's original TKD coach (10 years ago) and is aggressively pursuing him. He has made the offer of free room and board and training 3 times. That, IMO, is pretty huge. I said no, but another way my son can move towards that goal is to stay here and focus on his wrestling. I will work with him some on his striking nd a bit on his BJJ in the offseason but the focus will be on wrestling. He can then pick up his MMA training after the end of his senior season.

Now the goal here is, not to have a career as a pro fighter, but to have an excellent way of earning income while he goes to college. On this path, by the age of 19 he would have the ability to make $50 an hour teaching MMA, or wrestling for MMA. He could do some part time while attending college. He is also interested in Attending University of Texas, in Austin, the same place as Black Sheep Boxing. That would give him free room and board while attending college. That is not far off from a D1 ride (and UT is an excellent school).

Of course, once again, the decision is my sons. As long as he maintains excellent grades he can do what he wants. So, I presented the idea to him and he is thrilled.   

 

I’m on vacation this week, so I’ll bite. Here are just a few of the quotes that stuck out to me

‘He is a naturally gifted wrestler, however he has less than 3 years of wrestling experience and only 1 year of competative experience.’ He’s a naturally gifted wrestler that is in 10th grade and has already lost 5 matches (at least 2 by pin) in a state that is rarely ever in the top 20 when it comes to national results. Yes, I am very familiar with Bo Nickal, however there are exceptions to the rule. 

‘We are all sure that if he wrestled more he would become an extraordinary wrestler.’ Extraordinary wrestler? I get being a proud dad, but that seems slightly presumptuous. Guess I should have studied more and gone to Harvard.

‘I have never pushed him hard in wrestling until now, but feel that now is the time for him to get serious.’ Again, being an involved parent is a wonderful thing, but this mentality is a great way to strain or ruin your relationship with your son. You know your son better than I do, but far too often you hear of dads pushing their kids to excel in sports, and for every Olympic gold medal this produces, there are 1,000+ stories of irreparable damage to the father/son relationship. 

‘would be a world beater if he wrestled year around.’ Again, wow… I get being a proud parent, but the arrogance of this comment is remarkable. Let’s break a .500 record in Texas before we get him in Olympic consideration. 

‘His grades are decent.’ My favorite part of this discussion. Again, I don’t feel the need to post my credentials on here, but I can assure you my win/loss record was favorable to one side. I had tunnel vision when it came to sports, but I was blessed to have parents that reminded me sports were secondary. Wrestling is great, but after my college career ended, I was able to transition in to life and become successful because I was well-rounded. *Everyone measures success differently. 

‘He is talented enough in wrestling that he would get a D 2-3 if he wrestled year around.’ I think you’re underestimating the level of difficulty transitioning from Texas high school wrestling to college. I would encourage you to educate yourself on college rosters, especially starters. You will rarely find anyone that places lower than 5th in their state tournament, and nearly all receiving substantial scholarship money have won at least one state title, generally multiple titles, especially in states like Texas and Kentucky (also, D3 does not provide athletic scholarships). 

‘If he had the 8 years of experience that most other top wrestlers have he would easily be a state placer.’ Again, I get the proud dad bias, but there are plenty of wrestlers that competed for 10+ years and never sniff the podium. And guess what, that’s ok. Wrestling provides some amazing life lessons, regardless of your wins/losses. Your assumption that your son would be a ‘world beater’ or ‘easily be a state placer,’ is insulting to people that accomplished those feats, without the excuses. 

Let’s say someone is 5-5 in amateur MMA, and they’re being pumped up on a message board to be the next Jon Jones, if he had started a couple of years earlier. News flash, it wouldn’t be well received and it shouldn’t. Either you do it or you don’t, the bs about what could have been could be played for anything. As someone that works in an MMA gym, I’m sure you have firsthand accounts of these kinds of people  

At the end of the day, I wish nothing but the best for your son. Wrestling is a tight knit group and we generally look out for one another. However, I can see you alienating yourself from the wrestling community very quickly with just the comments I’ve included. 

You can think I’m some jerk on a message board, and that’s ok. I’ll go to bed just fine. But realize many on this thread have already expressed similarities to what I shared, I was just more blunt. 

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53 minutes ago, Old wrestler said:

I’m on vacation this week, so I’ll bite. Here are just a few of the quotes that stuck out to me

‘He is a naturally gifted wrestler, however he has less than 3 years of wrestling experience and only 1 year of competative experience.’ He’s a naturally gifted wrestler that is in 10th grade and has already lost 5 matches (at least 2 by pin) in a state that is rarely ever in the top 20 when it comes to national results. Yes, I am very familiar with Bo Nickal, however there are exceptions to the rule. 

‘We are all sure that if he wrestled more he would become an extraordinary wrestler.’ Extraordinary wrestler? I get being a proud dad, but that seems slightly presumptuous. Guess I should have studied more and gone to Harvard.

‘I have never pushed him hard in wrestling until now, but feel that now is the time for him to get serious.’ Again, being an involved parent is a wonderful thing, but this mentality is a great way to strain or ruin your relationship with your son. You know your son better than I do, but far too often you hear of dads pushing their kids to excel in sports, and for every Olympic gold medal this produces, there are 1,000+ stories of irreparable damage to the father/son relationship. 

‘would be a world beater if he wrestled year around.’ Again, wow… I get being a proud parent, but the arrogance of this comment is remarkable. Let’s break a .500 record in Texas before we get him in Olympic consideration. 

‘His grades are decent.’ My favorite part of this discussion. Again, I don’t feel the need to post my credentials on here, but I can assure you my win/loss record was favorable to one side. I had tunnel vision when it came to sports, but I was blessed to have parents that reminded me sports were secondary. Wrestling is great, but after my college career ended, I was able to transition in to life and become successful because I was well-rounded. *Everyone measures success differently. 

‘He is talented enough in wrestling that he would get a D 2-3 if he wrestled year around.’ I think you’re underestimating the level of difficulty transitioning from Texas high school wrestling to college. I would encourage you to educate yourself on college rosters, especially starters. You will rarely find anyone that places lower than 5th in their state tournament, and nearly all receiving substantial scholarship money have won at least one state title, generally multiple titles, especially in states like Texas and Kentucky (also, D3 does not provide athletic scholarships). 

‘If he had the 8 years of experience that most other top wrestlers have he would easily be a state placer.’ Again, I get the proud dad bias, but there are plenty of wrestlers that competed for 10+ years and never sniff the podium. And guess what, that’s ok. Wrestling provides some amazing life lessons, regardless of your wins/losses. Your assumption that your son would be a ‘world beater’ or ‘easily be a state placer,’ is insulting to people that accomplished those feats, without the excuses. 

Let’s say someone is 5-5 in amateur MMA, and they’re being pumped up on a message board to be the next Jon Jones, if he had started a couple of years earlier. News flash, it wouldn’t be well received and it shouldn’t. Either you do it or you don’t, the bs about what could have been could be played for anything. As someone that works in an MMA gym, I’m sure you have firsthand accounts of these kinds of people  

At the end of the day, I wish nothing but the best for your son. Wrestling is a tight knit group and we generally look out for one another. However, I can see you alienating yourself from the wrestling community very quickly with just the comments I’ve included. 

You can think I’m some jerk on a message board, and that’s ok. I’ll go to bed just fine. But realize many on this thread have already expressed similarities to what I shared, I was just more blunt. 

No, I don't think you are a jerk at all. I do know, however, that his losses have been because of mistakes, mistakes he made due to a lack of match experience. He is very strong at practice he is just not converting that to matches...yet.. He has been intimidated by the older wrestlers. Our 165 pounder recently beat a state placer  (is 13 and 2) and in practice Matt is is beating him half of the time...yesterday he dismantled him. If he trusts his wrestling and stops making mistakes he is going to do well. He started the year at a tournament where 4 of the top 5 teams in Texas were competing. He was only 3 weeks out of football season. He wrestled well against the number 4 guy and lost on points. He lost other matches because he just made dumb rookie mistakes. He also started at a very pudgy (football induced) 192 lbs. He has only been back wrestling and getting in shape for 6 weeks (now 7.5 after Christmas). and is a much more lean 181 lbs. He has been shaking off mat rust. In what world is a part time 3 year wrestler who is only a sophomore dominating?  

Yes, Texas wrestling is weak...but is is a MASSIVE state and the top teams are strong. The schools are huge, more than 3k students. We had a kid get a 3/4 D2 ride last year...but he has been wrestling since 6. We will see. You are free to have your doubts but I think my son can make tremendous improvements now that he has made wrestling a priority. I started wrestling late, had a losing record my sophomore year but when older was nationally ranked via my club. I beat a Michigan State champion and also a D 1 wrestler. It was a mater of mindset and learning from my mistakes. I coach at the local club I helped found, and both of the coaches I hired were D1 wrestlers. I have wrestled against D1 guys and I know how incredibly good they are. I also know that hardly any wrestlers that became great did not do so after just 3 years of part time wrestling. It takes years of dedication. 

Again...it is 100% up to him. He can take the losses, have his spirit broken and quit trying. I know that the best way for that to happen is for me to ride him. He  has 3 days off, tomorrow, and then the weekend. I asked him "What do you want to do, you can hang out with your friends if you want." He said "Can I hang out Sunday, I want you to do strength and conditioning with me Friday and Sat."That was 100% his decision. He has also been eating a perfect diet. Again, his choice.

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My 126 is ranked 6th, my backup 126 is ranked 102, but beat him in one of our 30 second live goes twice in practice on Tuesday. I'm thinking Ranger will rank my #2 at least 7th now... 

A win is a win and a loss is a loss, you can't count the would'a, could'a, should'a, in practice this, and in practice that...

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9 hours ago, chad.greenwell said:

My 126 is ranked 6th, my backup 126 is ranked 102, but beat him in one of our 30 second live goes twice in practice on Tuesday. I'm thinking Ranger will rank my #2 at least 7th now... 

A win is a win and a loss is a loss, you can't count the would'a, could'a, should'a, in practice this, and in practice that...

WE will see. I did not mention my history, but I consistently produce champions in MMA, BJJ and wrestling (see below). It is because of my attitude, and I pass my winning attitude onto those I coach. I refuse to think negatively and always get the best out of those I coach. Because of me my son's high school team just won 2 tournaments, the first time ever. I took several wrestlers with losing records last year and turned them into winners. I implement science combined with HIT into my training systems.

For example, bigger kids take longer to grow into their bodies, whereas smaller kids don't have that problem. Go take a look at the scientific article I posted on this topic (below). If you read the article I posted you will see that a 15 year old that weighs 126 is very different from a 15 year old that weighs 190. Bigger kids need more time to grow into their bodies. Football season ended and my son got a total of 6 practices in before his first 2 matches which he lost. 1 week later he was at a tournament where he went 1 and 2 against kids that were ranked in the top 10 of a very big state. He actually was doing well against the number 4 kid until he made a mistake, the type of mistake that a 15 year old kid with only 3 years of part time wresting and very few matches would make. He would not make this mistake if he had more mat time and match experience. That is why I want him wrestling year around. That put his record at 1 and 4. Since then he has gone 4 and 1. He just needs more experience. I had a kid that was 6 and 19 last year and after giving up football and working all year with him he is now 13 and 2. No one believed in him but me. Our head coach (high school) scoffed at me when I told him this kid would be a hammer but I was right. He will be state bound

You are a negative person that focus upon losing and what a person can't do. That is fine for you. However my son and I are going to focus upon what we can do. I tell him after every match that, win or lose, I believe in him. We don't focus so much upon winning but instead focus upon scoring points and executing proper technique like setting up shots. You are free to have a can't do attitude, but my attitude is the opposite. I did not mention this, but the main reason my high school was not specially strong is because we have no feeder wrestling club and no junior high school wrestling. 

To remedy this problem I founded a wrestling club and secured 2 D1 coaches (one an all American). I also actively recruit at football games. Because of my efforts we now have doubled our number of freshman and sophomore wrestlers and recently won our league tournament and a  big Junior Varsity tournament. In short, I produce champions. I will continue to produce champions. You are free to continue doing what you are doing and getting what you are getting.

318375141_6344573982236729_5306195202998767738_n.jpg

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Here is the article on age getting peak performance from wrestlers:  https://hrcak.srce.hr/file/188790

If you read it you will se that it takes 17 years (plus or minus 2.79 years) for a wrestler to reach peak ability. Yet you somehow expect a wrestler with 3 years of part time wrestling (and is a big kid, so he needs more time to grow into his body) to be a hammer. 

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‘Because of me my son's high school team just won 2 tournaments, the first time ever.’ Ahh the self importance is oozing in this comment. How about giving a little credit to the young men/women on the team? You never hear Robert Ervin (Union County), Seth Livingston (Paducah Tilghman), Jason Moore (Walton Verona), Mark Hitchings (Trinity/Fern Creek), Rusty Parks/Joe Carr (Woodford County), Aaron Riordan (Oldham County) and countless other coaches on here beating their chest after a big win or a state championship. They’re leaders and they don’t require praise, they just continue to churn out excellent wrestlers and people. I’ll give you a hint, if you’re great at something, you don’t have to convince everyone. 

‘Basically this forum is composed of negative people that focus upon losing and what a person can't do.’ Quite the contrary, the board is comprised of people that let their achievements speak for themselves and don’t require flaunting how good they could be at something, hypothetically. You seem like a person that is quite insecure, so you feel the need to puff your chest on what you have accomplished on an anonymous message board in a different state. People with meaningful accomplishments don’t need to impress people they don’t know. 

‘In short, I produce champions.’ What you produce is a heck of a lot of excuses I.e. my son is a monster in practice, he didn’t get enough practice after football season ended, he’s cutting down to the weight class below and giving up weight, bigger kids need longer to grow in to their body, we didn’t have a feeder team, he’s only been wrestling part-time for 3 years, etc. This all may be true, but seeking out excuses to justify an undesired result isn’t what champions do. Champions overcome adversity and don’t constantly look for a reason why they aren’t where they want to be. 

Long story short, in the immortal words of Terry Brands, ‘you get what you earn.’ Stop all the talking for your son and let his results speak for itself.

I’ll let you have the last word because quite frankly, I no longer see any value in exchanging back and forth with you (again, I thought this was satire, initially).  I’ll go back to focusing on the young men and women that represented Kentucky extremely well at an extremely difficult Indiana tournament this weekend, or those that competed at the tough WCI. 

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Yes, Worked my ass off to establish a club and help my team, and I did it all for free. I believe in my wrestlers. I post because you are a negative person and people like you have no business shaping young men and women, You are constantly looking for reason to lose. I guess you missed the part about where my team went from never winning anything to winning 2 tournament in the last 3 weeks. You also missed the part about me taking a 6 and 19 wrestler and turning him into a 13 and 2 wrestler. Every day I told him he would be a champion. I did the same with our 157 pounder who was 5 and 20 last year and is now 10 and 4.He has a father (former Marine) who wants to chew his son out after his losses, and I have taught him to instead love and support his son. I create a positive winning environment for all my wrestlers, alway focusing upon how we can improve.  I have 2 sophomores who were losing JV wrestlers last year and are now 500 varsity wrestlers. I have a kid who did not win 1 match last year (at JV) and is now 7 and 3. I did this by securing top D 1 coaches (very hard to do in Texas) and creating an environment for success. Your negative thinking is poison and you should not be around young athletes.

To get children to succeed you must build a mindset of constant improvement. If you simply focus on only winning, getting D 1 scholarships, you will never get anywhere. The key to success is teaching the kids to focus on the small victories...setting up their shots, keeping their heads off the mats, wrestling a little better each time they get on the mat, not making mistakes. If a kid goes from a 5 and 15 record to a 500 record, that is a success. If a kid makes the transition from JV to Varsity, especially if they are a sophomore and end up 500 at Varsity that is a success. That might be your kid that gos to state the next year. Your attitude that only winning state titles and getting D 1 scholarships is all wrong and will only lead to failure. I tell all me kids that if they can make it through our very tough practices for one year that they are winners. Because of this, our team has gone from 32 members to 113 wrestlers in the last year.

At the rate we are going, we will be a powerhouse in 2 years. Tell me about your track record as a coach. Have you taken a losing team and turned it around in less than 1 year?  Were you a D 1 All American?  You list successful coaches but I guarantee you that they don't post negative crap on boards because they know that negative thinking is a communicable disease. They win because they know how to keep their wrestlers focused upon positivity and constant improvement. I suggest you study them as this sport is 90% mental and you mindset is malignant.  

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